An Open Letter to Childless Travelers

Dear Childless Traveler,

I know my kid is crying, I know he's kicking your seat, and I know he's looking at you between the seats when you just want to relax and read a magazine or catch a few Zs on the flight. But you should know that it could be worse. Much worse.

Firs off, remebmer that it's inconvenient to you but it's way worse for us.

People pay a lot more money for front row seats at their favorite concert for a reason. The experience is so much more vidid, the lead singer can reach out and touch you, and the music seems to envelop every molecule of your soul.

The same goes for the front row seat of a mid air meltdown. Except this lead singer isn't high fiving his fans. He's kicking them in the face. The lead singer isn't hitting a perfect note that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. He's screeching at the top of his lungs, saying the most disrespectful words that he just knows will push your buttons. The lead singer isn't engaging in transitional story telling or playful banter. He's laughing at your futile attempts to control his behavior and to reason with him.

So yes, it sucks for you, but remember, it sucks for us even more. Ask any parent if they would rather trade in their front row seats for some nose bleeds.

Lastly, it could be worse. Most parents put a ton of thought and preparation into preparing for flying with a young one. Will it conflict with nap time? Do we need to pack food so the kid isn't hungry? What toys can we bring that will occupy them but not disturb others? Do we have something they can drink so they can pop their ears? The list really goes on and on.

And I know that we chose to have kids and that you may not have. But the key to remember is that we don't have to do all of those things. We don't do any of those things for us. We do them for you. Think about that. Let it sink in.

What many childless travelers are not aware of (I know I wasn't when I was one), is that we can completely tune out our own child for a 3-4 hour flight, no problem. We've endured enough tantrems in our day to completely ignore the blood curdling screams, the kicking and hitting, the name calling. We can turn a cheek to all of the behavior and let them do their worse.

So the next time you get annoyed because a kid is raising and lowering the beverage tray excessively, remember there's a parent stopping that kid from pulling your hair. When the kid is peeking at you through the seat for a minute or two, remember that same kid would be content staring at you for 2 hours straight. Any facial expression you make would be mirrored back to you and only encourage the little one to continue. And when you do hear that occasional peep out of my kid, rest assured that you could listen to him scream at the top of his lungs all flight long and I wouldn't hear a thing.

Fuck me handing you a "sorry for the disturbance" gift. You ought to be buying me Starbucks considering I paid just as much for his seat as you did for yours.

Sincerely,

Every parent that has ever taken a kid on plane, ever. (Especially the ones before iPads were invented)

I Want A Pair of Yoga Pants

I'm sure you have all seen them. The tight black pants women wear that you either love or hate. I personally love them. I think it is one of the most enjoyable fashion trends ever. I am very thankful that this fad came along while I am nearing 30 as opposed to 20.

Frankly. I can't imagine how I would have passed High School OR College. It's been enough of a challenge having ADHD throughout my life. I couldn't imagine trying to pay attention to anything other than the cute girl in yoga pants next to me, let alone Shakespeare or The History of Central Asia; The Silk Route to Afghanistan.

I've often wondered why women chose to wear pants that look like they are painted on. The common response I always here is:

"They are SOOOO comfortable."
"But they are SOOO tight"
"They stretch"
"Isn't it harder to move?"
"No it's easier, just like running tights"

That's when I had an epiphany. I LOVE wearing my running tights. I would wear them all day if they weren't so hot. Mine are designed to be worn in single digit weather while running so they have extra thick lining. It also isn't socially acceptable for a man to wear tights. But honestly, since when have I cared about what is and isn't socially acceptable. (I was a cheerleader in HS, I paint my toes, I get my son a toy kitchen, etc.)

There is also the issue of the tights highlighting my package. I am pretty damn comfortable with my body regardless of how comfortable other people are with it. I've been known to partake in a game of strip flip cup a time or two. You may see a post next year about me running a race completely naked. However, I am slightly aware that while I may be comfortable with it, that doesn't mean everyone else will be.

But I recently decided I'm going to find a pair. I looked at Lululemon like many people suggested. They have only one pair of yoga tights for men and they are thick as well. The other men's yoga pants/tights I see have crazy athletic looking designs that are meant to "stabilize the athlete," but I think it has more to do with making a guy feel more secure in that fact that he's wearing tights.  My search continues. I am hoping to find a pair that are thin enough that I won't sweat profusely in them.

I'm hoping I can find some for men but am becoming more and more skeptical that that will happen. And if I am forced to buy women's yoga pants, I'm curious how comfortable that will be for both me and others due to the differences in the cut. If you have any solutions. Let me know.

More Men Should Get Pedicures

I have to admit, I've always thought I had great feet for a guy. Despite playing football for years my feet stayed soft and attractive, even if they didn't smell the greatest. My wife was 9 months pregnant with our son when some friends asked us to go to a Badger Basketball game. The due date was nearing and we were going crazy so we took any distraction we could get.

The game wasn't for a couple hours and we were in Madison about 40 minutes from home. So we decided to stay and kill some time. My wife wanted to get a pedicure so I said, "let's do it." We walked into the place and an asian woman told us to pick out the colors we wanted. I had planned on getting a pedicure but not painted. I decided, what the hell.

I picked out Badger Red and White. The ladies laughed at me but sure enough they gave me the pedicure and painted my nails Red and White. I had them alternate every other toe so that the red and white stood out a bit.

I'll admit it was a bit of a surprise the next morning when I tiredly went to hop in the shower and I looked down and saw painted toe nails. But it wasn't long before the shock wore off. My new painted toes grew on me quite a bit.

My nails grew and soon the red and white were nearly gone. Just six weeks later a good friend had a bachelor party in Arizona. We were all heading down for the Brewers spring training games. I decided to show my team proud and found a great match for the brewers Blue and Gold. The first day I broke out my sandals I had forgotten that men don't normally paint their toes. I had been looking at painted toes for a couple months now. When one of the other guys noticed it, I was greeted by a "What the fuck is that!?" I casually responded, "What? They're Brewers colors."

I got a hassle but it soon passed. I enjoyed the pedicures and painted toes much more than I disliked the occasional comments I got from people. It makes me laugh when I forget I go to the doctors or get a massage and they are shocked to see them. It's quite fun to see peoples reactions.

I recently went out with my wife to celebrate a long 2 weeks during my job transition. Most couples do dinner and movie. We did pedicures and a steak house. I have to give Polished Nail Bar in Milwaukee a plug. They did a Sugar Scrub, a Paraffin Wax Peel, and a great massage. I could feel the softness in between my toes for several days. It was fantastic. They also had the Badger Football game on the big screen so I didn't have to miss the game.

This time I went with Black and Orange for Halloween. They orange even glows in black light. The best part of painting your toes is that you only have to show the people you want to. I refer to it as "my own personal weirdness." My two year old son loves to go toe by toe and say what color each one is.

But my nails are starting to grow out a month later. So what color should I go with next? I need some suggestions.

Falling Back In Love

I feel like me and the outdoors have been in an estranged marriage. We're still technically married, we see each other everyday as we both go about our business around the house.  I'm doing my thing, she's doing hers. I think I still love her but I sure haven't liked her the past few months.

We've been fighting. Sure, some of it's petty but if it's kept up for a long period of time, it could be a deal breaker in our relationship. For instance, she insists on keeping the thermostat at an ungodly high temperature. I can't stand it. I just am not nearly as happy when I'm hot and sweaty while standing still. I also feel like she always leaves every light in the house on. Can't I go outside for a 7 mile run without getting sunburned or baked by the intense rays of light? And I have no problem watering the lawn occasionally. But is it too much to ask that she take care of it once or twice a month? I just don't want every lawn looking crispy and yellow. 

But lately things have started change a bit. She still leaves the thermostat a bit high some of the days, but lately she's been keeping it somewhat cool around the house. She still leaves the lights on, but she's dimmed the lights a bit and it makes a huge difference. And even the lawn is turning green again. I am finally starting to fall back in love with her.  And now that she's treating me so well I feel motivated to do more. Maybe I'll squeeze in a few more quality runs with her and not just sneak them in while she's still asleep in the morning. Or even going on a hike or geocaching trip might be in the cards. We'll take it slow and see where things go.

How Hyden Got His Groove Back

I took three weeks off from running to rest my Achilles Tendinitis after a dumb 3 mile barefoot run came back to bite me after 2 months of running with pain and stiff ankles. So much can change in 3 weeks. I wore gloves during CrazyLegs in the end of April. Now they are considering canceling marathons this weekend due to heat.

So I decided my first run back would be with the newly formed Johnson Creek Running Club that was started up one town over. I chose 3 miles to start. The route was unfamiliar and filled with hills. I had to stop several times to stretch my calf and achilles. And sure enough, things started to loosen up. Of course it started to loosen up 2.5 miles into my 3 mile run.

I had a second run this week. Five miles. Nice and slow. I even got 2 dozen cows to chase me through my rural route. There's something I love about running past small family farms with old barns and curious cows.

I know I have some adjusting to do. The temps are rising and hopefully my mileage will be soon. The Ragnar Relay will be here before I know it. I'm hoping to get some more blog posts in, so stay tuned.

Adventures In Barefoot Running Part II

I wrote in a previous post that I went for a 3 mile run in my Vibram Five Fingers on a beach in SC. I also mentioned I had a stiff Achilles the following day. That day turned into a week, and the week turned into a couple months.

After turning up the intensity on my training, my achilles became more and more sore. While a good warm up took away most of the pain during my runs, the morning after was a-whole-nother story. After spending the day after my CrazyLegs Run in pain I reached out to a friend of mine that is a Physical Therapist.

She suggested a strict regiment of rest and ice. What!? Rest!? That's outrageous! It's a diagnosis most runners fear, taking time off. I've now gone over a week without running and I am going a bit stir crazy. Today we had a wonderful rain storm that made me want to throw on an old pair of shoes and go sloshing around in the rain.

Instead I am spending some quality time with a bag of frozen peas and a bag of frozen corn. I want rest and get over this injury but with my Ragnar Relay just a few weeks away I feel like I'm fighting the battle of rest vs. training. Hopefully any one considering a minimalist style of running will learn that taking it slow is obviously the most important thing.

My Legs Get A Little Crazy

I recently participated in the race that got me started with running a few years ago. The Crazy Legs Classic is an 8k race in Madison, WI. I love this race for so many reasons; The finish at the 50 yard line of Camp Randall, the route through my Alma Mater, the cold beer waiting for me at the finish line, and the great friends from college that always reunite to run the race.

It was a cold and rainy day. I like cooler weather but the 40 degree weather had me in gloves. My SmartWool kept me warm during and after the race too. The cool temps probably helped me finish as strong as I did but the slick roads had me a bit worried on the large downhill portions.

I worked hard at coming out slow and building my speed towards the end. The Rocky theme song blares at the same spot on the last mile every year and it always reminds me that I can dig just a bit deeper. I also found myself calling on my old Running Back skills from my football days as I look for gaps in the runners and accelerate to squeeze through a wall of 3 friends running together (avoiding hitting any of them, of course)

As you turn the corner into the stadium you can start to hear the massive amounts of people. My legs were tired but the downhill ramp and entering one of the oldest stadiums in college football gave me a surge. I knew I would set a PR but it was a matter of by how much. I hit my Garmin at 45:54 and was very excited to share it with family and friends. Setting a PR is another reason I love this race.

It's also a great measure of how my running has been going over the years. I used to train for each race about month before the event. This was my first full year of training before running the event. Let's look at my past performances:

2008 54:30
2009 53:08
2010 1:01:49
2011 52:25
2012 45:54

I was very excited to dip under the 50 minute mark let alone shave 6 plus minutes off of my Personal Record. Very excited with my performance.