Quitter 30k

I've always wanted to organize an event that discourages you to finish. I think the running community is so supportive it would be fun to turn things on their head and have as many discouraging aspects as possible.

I imagine drill instructors with bull horns shouting things like, 'you can't do it, just give up,' and 'you are nowhere near the finish line.' or 'quit now, there's cold beer right here.' What would be the most mentally defeating thing for you? Here are some of my ideas;

Cold beer if you quit, warm NA beer if you finish.

Tons of hills, Out and Back, Out and Back, again.

Cold weather and Hoses at every water station.

All mile markers are set .10 mi. shorter.

Fake finish lines. 'Just another 2 miles to go!'

Massages if you quit at mile 15.

Loud horrible music, everywhere.

Feel free to add your own.

My Maiden Marathon

Five straight days of work meetings that ran from 7 a.m.-10 p.m. No real control over my diet, including carb intake. Running in a climate I'm not accustomed to. Running an unfamiliar route. Ignoring the advice to get a good nights sleep two days before the race. Choosing to not have friends and family cheering me on in the stands.

These were a few of the many mistakes I made leading up to the Rock N Roll San Antonio Marathon. But we all make mistakes. The important part is that we all can learn from them. So here's my recap of the event.

I say goodbye to my co-workers and head to bed the night before the race. It was tough to do when you only get to see these people once every 4 years. But it had to be done. It was a long day. We had a day full of meetings and even volunteered at Camp Camp outside of San Antonio. It's a summer camp for kids with disabilities that allows them to get the camp experience and more importantly gives their families a much needed break for a week/weekend.

Going in I had no idea I would be swinging a pick axe to take out fence posts and hauling wood for repurposing for several hours the day before my first marathon. But you have to do what you have to do. With the company motto of being "All In," there was no way to skirt the task at hand.

So after making my rounds to say good bye at the hotel bar I head back to my room. I get everything laid out for the race in the morning and head to bed. During this corporate trip you get the pleasure of having a roommate. Mine snored. I laid awake listening to my iPod for the next 6 hours as I desperately tried to fall asleep. No use.

I "wake up," get ready, and head down to the race. I find my corral quickly and get ready. I've decided to take a friends advice and write my name across the front of my shirt. People along the race yelled out my name, cheering me on and it was pretty nice to have the support.

It takes about 40 minutes for my corral to get to the start. I can hear as they announce that the lovely Shalane Flannigan is running. A running podcast I listen to, 3 Non Joggers, mildly stalks her via social media (in a safe and good hearted way). I know very well she will have showered and eaten lunch by the time I cross the finish line and it has nothing to do with the 40 minute head start.

We get to the starting line and I feel fairly calm as I start out on my first ever marathon. The first mile was tough. My calf and shins are burning quite a bit through the first mile or two. It's unusual for me and made me a bit nervous that this race isn't going to go well. But it fades. As it does, my anxiety fades as well.

I hit my sweet spot. From mile 2-10 I feel great and enjoy the race. The Rock N Roll series does a great job of putting bands throughout the course to entertain both the crowds and runners. I am a little disappointed when I see the GU station has been ransacked by the previous runners. 19,000 of the 24,000 or so that ran are half marathoners. I am not too upset that the station is empty. I brought my own GU.

Around the 10 mile mark I start to get a bit cranky. Did the half marathoners really need all that GU? I do the math and I'm going to be one GU short. Grrr. I see a girl wearing a shirt that says 'I'm 13 and I'm beating you.' Yeah, well I have twice as much to run and I just passed you, I thought to myself. Just after the 10 mile mark we hit the point where the half marathoners turn left and we keep going straight for the full. I hit that split and what do I see...?

N O O N E !

The closest runner is about 75 yards in front of me. I glance back and the closest runner is about 50 yards behind me. I realize just how long of a day this is going to be. The crowds cheering us on thin out. Significantly. The heat becomes that much more noticeable. The neighborhood changes and there are no longer trees to shade us from the sun.

I should have known the challenge I had ahead of me when I saw the runners going the other way. They were on mile 23. They were tall, athletic, and shirtless. They were struggling. Some were walking. Some were sitting. I am not tall, athletic, or shirtless.

I continue to run at my snail slow pace. It's nothing new for me. But the heat that creeps over us is. My training runs were in 40 degree weather. I find out later it hits 87 F and 97% humidity. I believe it. It was hot. Every chance I get I soak my body in water in a desperate attempt to lower my body temp. I know my muscles have the endurance for the distance. I'm not so sure about the heat.

I drench myself in water. I put ice bags on the back of my neck. I rest in the City Busses they have provided as runner cooling stations. I keep moving forward. Sometimes I walk. Sometimes I run. I want to finish this race. I was smart enough to apply sunscreen but failed to realize I would be soaking myself with hoses every chance I get. My face starts to feel the Texas sun pounding on my cheeks.

At our meeting for work we had a motivational speaker come in and talk about how his life changed after a farming accident that left him a quadriplegic. It's hard to complain about your feet hurting when you realize the extent some people would go just to feel that pain in their feet. I keep moving.

It takes me a while. I take walk breaks, sit in the cooling stations, and even stop once to wring out my Smart wool socks after a hose operator intentionally sprayed my shoes and feet. Seriously? As I come to the last 6 miles I am grateful for the condition I am in. Some runners are limping on injured legs, refusing to give up. I see a young lady puke at the 26 mile mark.

I push on running when I can, walking when I must. I finally make the turn and run to the finish line. I cross the finish line and it doesn't quite set in that I just finished a marathon. I don't know if it's because I missed my target time by over 45 minutes. I don't know if it's because I'm desperately looking for water (they ran out at the finish line). I don't know if its because my feet hurt more than they ever had in my life. I still have to walk a mile to get back to my hotel.

As I catch my breath and pick up my swag bag I start to reflect on the journey that brought me to this moment. I ran 422 training miles to get to the starting line. I think of the hours I invested into training. I think of the hours my wife spent watching our son and worrying about me as I ran. On top of all that it was a long and emotional week. I fought back the tears. Had my wife and son been there, I probably would not have won that battle

Immediately after the race I swore I would never do another marathon. A couple days later I said maybe. Now that I'm home I'm already looking at which one I will run next. I want to shave an hour or so off of my time. Shouldn't be too difficult.

I get the chance to talk to some other marathoners at the airport. On one flight a marathoner tells me he turned left at the half marathon split, deciding to forgo the full and enjoy the beer instead. He is a wise man. One woman shares that she has run 20 marathons in 20 states. I ask her what was her best and what was her worst experience. She tells me this was tied for the worst.

So with my first and hopefully worst marathon in the books, it can only get better from here. Bring on the next challenge.

Marathon Mise en Place (Meeze-ah-ploss)

For those of you that don't know, my day job is related to the foodservice industry. On a recent visit to the Culinary Institute of America one of their Master Chefs talked to us about the most important thing to learn as a Chef. Simply put, his answer was Mise en Place.

Mise en Place, for those that don't know, is a french term meaning 'everything in place.' In the fast paced, zero tolerance for error, and high pressure environment set for top notch chefs, you can not afford to have things out of place. That plate that's late getting out or that corner you cut, might just end up in the hands of a food critic that could make or break you.

While getting ready for my first ever marathon, I couldn't help but feel I was practicing Marathon Mise en Place. Okay... I MAY be romanticizing it a bit (some do just call it a check list). But imagine setting out on your run without a crucial piece of equipment. No compression shorts, or sports bra, Glide stick, or Ipod?

Another important part of pre-race preparation is sleep. The key is to get a good nights sleep two nights before the run. I failed to do this. I had a long week. An emotional week. An exhausting week. I thought I'd be different. I thought, as tired as I am, I'll be able to sleep the night before the race. I could not have been more wrong.

Mise en Place, people! It's simple. Everything in it's place. And your butt's place, two nights before race day, is in bed.

The hardest part about running is that our harshest critic is always present for our runs.

Getting Over a Horrible Training Run

All the factors for disaster were there. I had been sick and was just starting to recover. It was an unusually hot day for my climate. All that could go wrong, did go wrong. You win Murphy!

Telling you about my horrible training run feels about as useful as discussing how my fantasy football team lost by one point after my running back took a knee at the one yard line. So here is a quick summary. I'm sick but I decide to run anyways. As I set out it gets hotter and hotter (mid 80s in October in Wisconsin is crazy). I trip crossing a bridge and fall within the first 3 miles of my 18 mile run. I run, I walk, I run, I walk, I run, shooting pain in my back, I can no longer run. I walk the remaining 6 miles of the 18 mile run.

So you had a horrible training run. We've all had them. The question is, what do you do once they happen?

1. Get Angry- Let it out. It's frustrating. You've worked hard to get to this point and this run isn't an indicator that your previous work was worthless. So complain about it and get over it.

2. Analyze It- A mistake is much more valuable if you can learn from it. Were you too sick to run? Did you not take the weather into account? Did you choose a route with no shortcut home? Did you notify someone where you were going? Could you have ran with a cell phone? I made all of these mistakes. It happens. Now fix it.

3. Count It- You may not have run for 18 miles but look on the bright side. You were on your feet even longer than your training run would have afforded. If you ended up walking, you worked out the exact same muscles you do when running. You got one of the best and most important training session, a mental workout. When race day comes, you can be confident that if you can overcome this set back, nothing will stop you from achieving your goal.

4. Recover- Sleep if you need to overcome that cold. Rest your body if you were fatigued. Heal if you were injured. Skip a run if you have to. It is always better to be undertrained than overtrained.

5. Get Your Butt Back Out There- As soon as you feel ready, get back on the horse. Talk to other runners. Every poker player has a bad beat story and so does every runner. They'll tell you what happened to them. Then ask them how much fun they had on race day.

If running marathons, half marathons, 5ks, etc. were easy, everyone would do them. You've chosen to challenge yourself. Well here's your challenge. How will you respond?